Generosity

In my case, the only case on which I can speak with some authority, successful parenthood is about long and intense periods of frustration interspersed with unexpected moments of success. In that respect, I have difficulty seeing the forest from the trees, and I get bogged down by the frustrations and fail to appreciate her overall growth.  I find it hard to envision the person she’ll become based on what I see in the moment, which is pretty silly considering my own history of embarrassing words and actions.

Last week, she came up with a surprise. One morning, as we’re getting ready for the day, unprompted, she decided she wanted to give away much of her trove of Mardi Gras beads, one to each member of her daycare class. “Are you sure?” I said. Nod. The above picture was taken shortly after her announcement.

“Now, you can’t ask for them back, you have to let them keep them forever, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And you have to let them choose which one they want, you can’t pick them for them, okay?”

“Okay.”

I asked her if there were any special necklaces that she didn’t want to give away and had her leave them at home.

This had disaster written all over it. I envisioned disappointment, arguing over trinkets, and regrets.

But lo and behold, it all went well. She gave away most of them, anyone who wanted one got to pick one, and CJ was happy about how it all went down.

Lately, she’s been working on generosity. At dessert time, she invites others to pick out a cookie before she picks hers. Unprompted, she offers her playdates the pick of her dolls. She knows that a host has certain responsibilities, even if she doesn’t quite know what they all are.

A year ago, I doubt I could have imagined this.  Which tells me I need to have more faith. Be more generous.

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